It's been a year, a YEAR since we've moved from IA to NE.
It really feels like time flew by & I can't believe it. It's been interesting. Of course moving in the beginning of May last year, taking the kids out of school and starting our "summer break" a month early seemed to extend our "summertime", it was really nice, it also had it's moments that were hard, not knowing anyone in town, or having any other people to seeor hang out with was hard.
We spent a lot of time at our local water park and that was nice.
We drove to IL in July for my brother's wedding and it was so nice to see family.
The drive was REALLY hard though, we drove overnight to get there (won't do that again) and we drove through the day to get home, it was better, but still not enjoyable to spend your whole day driving. Which is why we haven't been back yet. We miss family SO MUCH. We miss family on birthdays, long weekends, holidays...it really stinks. But when we could only stay a weekend or few days, the horrible drive seems to outweigh the fun time we could squeeze in with family.
We did finally get a second vehicle (just this month).
This makes my day go much smoother.
This also means I could potentially pack up the kids and go do things on days Jason has to work (pretty much everyday, unless he takes vacation)
I've thought about just us heading to IL for a few weeks this summer. Still that drive, seems like torture to me.
Possibly we'll all head out in July when Jason has vacation, only thing about that is he only gets a week off. Factor in two full days of driving that doesn't leave us with much family time. Especially when we have his family/ my family that we all want/need to see.
I've hoped and prayed we'd be living back near family by now. It's been 9 years since we left.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that really struggles with this, and need to get over it, it may never happen.
The kids of course want to go back to Iowa (where all the friends they've ever know are) to live again, that just won't happen. I'm ok with that. We may be able to stop and visit if, that would extend our time away even longer by at least a couple days - and may not be possible for Jason.
Living where we live here in NE makes me miss IA a lot sometimes, but mostly the size of town we came from, and the quality of people.
Within the first week of being in this town, I felt unease and it hasn't went away.
It's SO MUCH bigger than we're used to. I don't feel entirely comfortable anywhere here.
The kids obviously were not looking forward to starting new schools. MUCH bigger schools.
Evan begged me to homeschool him this year. I didn't think I could, didn't know the laws, didn't know where to look, and feared he NEEDED the socialization, if only to meet a couple people in this new town.
Evan was depressed the first day of school and nothing has changed... he's stayed in a steady state of school is the worst part of my life all year.
Kendall keeps truckin, she's more outgoing and willing to jump in and make friends, and she has.
They both do well academically , Evan's grades are declining as the school year goes on (some of the worse grades he's ever had in his life) and I just know it's not because he doesn't know the material, but because his spirit in school is flat as a pancake. He's always struggled with the idea of school.
Since he was in Kindergarten in MO, he was constantly saying "school is boring", "I know all this stuff we keep going over & over the same things" "Why cant we just do all the work in 2 hours and leave?" "Why do we have to sit around so much" I remember his Kindergarten teacher telling me she makes him her "helper" a lot to have him help other kids in the class with things he already knows to keep him interested.
I thought about homeschooling him then.
When we were moving to IA the beginning of his 1st grade year, his teacher wrote me a note saying she hopes this new school can see his potential and get him in to advanced classes and keep his desire to learn high.
Our IA school was small, and caring environment. The teachers were attentive and nice but I don't thing he was challenged enough. He had a small bullying issue in 2nd grade and I got so mad I threatened to pull him out of school and homeschool him.
I can't say, I should have then - because who knows what would be different.
But I'm excited to say we're giving it a go next year. Evan ISN'T thriving in a school setting.
And the biggest issue is mostly he just DOESN'T enjoy the atmosphere. He's smart, he gets his work done is study hall and almost never has homework to bring home. He calls his peers "those people" , he's made a few friends but still, it's not what he wants, hes not thriving in a social setting with 300 kids his age, he gets so frustrated (and always has) at kids who "mess around" who disrupt the class, or act out and make the learning process that he just wants to do & be done with take 3x as long.
This is why I think he'll been a great learner at home. On his own pace.
I do think socialization is important, but he's not wanting to socialize and not putting forth the effort and it won't change in school. I feel like it will get better, he will brighten up and he will enjoy getting together with peers and homeschool groups in time. But I'm not rushing it. I feel he needs time to DESCHOOL. He'll have the summer and may take a couple more months. I'm so excited to delve more indepth into some subjects he's excited about.
I think this is whats best for him, and only time will tell, but we're giving it at least a year to see.
I don't see him ever wanting to go back to school, but ya never know.
Of course I talked with Kendall about this, and she wants to try homeschooling as well.
I'm fully ok if she didn't. It was her choice and she wants to try it, for a year. She may go back to public school (she may miss the school events) or she may not. Time will tell.
I'm hoping we can find some great resources and groups here in NE (unfortunately, on the group front, I'm having a REALLY hard time finding any all inclusive or secular groups) .
I've been reading up on laws, requirements and read some great books that have really boosted my confience in thinking I CAN DO THIS. ↓↓↓↓↓
I know there will be struggles, and times when I doubt things, but I've founds some great groups on FB too that have been so supportive and I know will continue to be.
The kids are finishing up this school year in public school, mostly because the NE requires you give 30 days notice before you can have your kids "exempt" from public school attendance and we only have a month left of school.
I must say I'm entirely excited and and entirely scared out of mind for how next year will feel for me. I'm worred I'll stress to much of feel overwhelmed or feel lazy and ignorant.
BUT I STILL THINK THIS IS THE RIGHT DECISION.
I CAN say with 100% conviction, I'm looking forward to NOT staring our school days at 7am anymore! :D